12.09.2007

Let's be frank......

Tomrrows that lucky, or unlucky day! I can't believe how long it has seemed since I made the appointment for Carson and Cooper to get their second opinions done.
To be frank........ I feel like I am going to throw up, pee my pants, have an anxiety attack, and go insane.
I have NO friggin' clue what is going to happen, and it freaks the Holy Mother of Mary out of me. To make matters worse, Riley will be taggin' along as well. I don't know what freaks me out more, knowing that Carson and Cooper MAY need a 2nd surgery to close the holes in their skulls, or that Riley could end up having brain surgery sooner than I thought? I know Riley is not in the "red flag" area yet, but having symptoms means it's getting a hell of a lot closer than I would like. I am hoping to become much more educated on Chiari Malformation tomorrow as well. I'm not sure what I'll do if I have to take her out of state to find the right doctor for her. Hopefully, "B", will be our guy.

I just feel like I am stretching myself so thin.

As many of you know, I having been trying to assist my friend's the Zoromski's with the situation with their daughter, Karly. Today, they left, and tomorrow all hell will break loose for them as well. My heart seems so weak as it is, that when I think of them, my heart just breaks and I instantly tear up.
This whole thing btwn our kids sucks. Why does it have to be during the holiday season? Seriously? Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, I love the smells in the air, I love watching the twinkle in the kids eyes come Christmas morning, but you what, to be honest, I don't have that feeling this year, and again - to be frank, I'm not sure I'd care if it didn't come. Now doesn't that just stink to high heaven?

5 comments:

TwinsMom05 said...

I am thinking of you and hope it all turns out ok.. Plese keep us posted..

Gemini Rose said...

I hope you're not going alone today. Please email or post what you find ASAP!!! I'll be praying for you!

Jean said...

I'll be adding you to my prayer list. If you need any help with any of your kids, let me know.

Take care.

Michelle said...

I know, Merry Christmas, right??

I can't thank you enough for all you've done for us - but please DON'T let it add more stress to your life!!

I need a vacation. Or a good, stiff drink!

my4kids said...

I hope the appointment went well for you.
December seems to be the month were all hell breaks loose around here too and I love the season as well but have gotten to the point I almost dread it coming. Like I spend the season holding my breath to see whats going to happen next.